Many people are in
suffering because they chose the wrong person to get marriage with. There is a
saying that is spoken all over the world and it says: ‘love is blind’ or ‘love
is fool’. The truth is love isn’t blind or fool; unfortunately we are the ones
who blind or fool ourselves by denying the evidences.
A bad marriage is capable
of destroying lives. Husbands, wives and children suffer with the consequences
of a bad choice in marriage.
The good choice starts
before dating someone, boys and girls should not just look the exterior or how
funny he/she seems to be. Early in dating the person should look the character,
religion/faith, family, if he/she is lazy, if he/she likes to study or to work
and etc.
To
observe the character is very important because if you spot
stains of dishonesty, betrayal, greed, uncontrolled ambition, corruption, ill
temper, lies, “half truths”, disrespect, among others; it is already a clear
evidence of a red signal indicating that the person isn’t for you.
Do not blind
yourself thinking that he/she is like that only with others and not with you.
This is his/hers character and they can hide it for a certain period of time
but once the couple are already living together the daily living will bring to
life what is hidden.
To observe
religion/faith
is very important because our Lord Jesus said: for without me you can do
nothing. (John 15:5 NKJ) If you are a believer and your partner is an
unbeliever, chances are that he/she will corrupt your faith by leading you
astray from the Lord.
Without mentioning that the vision of an unbeliever is”
to be together as long there is love” the vision of a true
believer is:
"Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not
put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never
thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering
that comes from being hurt by someone.
Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with
the truth. Love takes everything that
comes without giving up. Love believes all things. Love hopes for all things.
Love keeps on in all things. Love never
comes to an end." 1Corinthians 13: 4-8 NLT
I
met a Christian lady who got marriage with a person whose country, religion and
culture approve polygamy. She was the wife number four and she was very regretted
of her choice.
A true Christian has the fear of
the Lord in their hearts and therefore will try its best to always please the
Lord. Not all unbelievers will have the same principles.
A true believer will never arrive at home drunk,
smelling other women perfume or will spank you. But out there, it may be seen
as something very usual. The happiness of this world is temporary but the happiness
that Jesus can provide is everlasting.
To observe laziness
is a must! Some
people think that the guaranty of a good marriage is wealth. Who thinks in this
way is by all means wrong. But of course misery is a way for unhappiness.
Your
beloved one can be poor, but if he/she is a hard worker eager to go the extra
mile to provide the best they can for the family, it is a piece of gold! On the
other hand, if he/she is a lazy person you will be in trouble and in hunger.
The
Bible says: Go to the ant, O lazy person. Watch and think about her ways, and be
wise. She has no leader, head or ruler,
but she gets her food ready in the summer, and gathers her food at the right
time.
How long will you lie down, O lazy
person? When will you rise up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little rest, a little
folding of the hands to rest, and being poor will come upon you like a robber
and your need like a man ready to fight. Proverbs 6:6-11 NLT
Men
and women should have eager hands to work. Life is not based on eating and
sleeping only. It is countless how many times I have counseled people, who came
to me complaining that their spouses do not want to work, do not look for a job
or do not take good care of the house and of the children.
If your boy or girlfriend
is lazy, do not think that you will have the power to change them. You will
have what you’ve got!
Observe a violent
behavior. Domestic
violence can happen to anyone if we do not observe the evidences in our boy or girlfriend.
If they show signs of extreme jealousy, envy, irritability, if they are prone
to fight in streets or have the history of attack their family members; it is
better to get out of this relationship before you become the next victim.
Observe
family standards. When
a person really gave his/her life to
Jesus they are made new. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ
has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!( 2
Corinthians 5:17 NLT )
It does not apply for those who doesn’t have a
commitment with the Lord. If your partner was raised in an abusive home with
history of violence, crime, drugs among others; chances are that the person you
are dating has a bad luggage with bad experiences and traumas with him/her.
Most of the cases, even psychologists cannot fully heal a person in this
condition.
Usually feelings and traumas are just pushed to the innermost of
that person and at any time it can surface bringing disastrous experiences. Only
Jesus can complete transforms one’s life from water to wine! It is better to
take a person like that to Jesus first and later when this person is totally
free; you can safely date and get marriage with.
Common
goals. It
is important to observe if both parts freely want and agree with the same
things like to have kids and how many kids, pets, where to live, etc. If you
want kids and the other part doesn’t; it is a good sign that this relationship
will not work
Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3 NLT
The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. Proverbs 27:12 NIV
God Bless you my friend.
